Transition from Mommy’s Girl to Motherhood: Navigating Matrescence
My Expectations and Reality
Becoming a mother is a beautiful experience that I thought would fill me with satisfaction and joy. I anticipated holding the newborn baby in my arms, seeing the little hands and feet, and hearing the sweet voice. However, I was advised that motherhood is a journey that comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. After nine months of pregnancy and the delivery process, mixed feelings of happiness and sadness arose. This is when the reality of motherhood hit me hard. I felt overwhelmed and unprepared for the journey ahead of me. I was told that I could overcome these feelings by embracing the changes I was experiencing.
Motherhood is emotional, and all the unrealistic fantasies that I had are replaced with the reality of the situation. I expected motherhood to make me feel whole, but the truth is that every second is a new challenge. I feel like I don’t have all the knowledge needed for this journey. Is that okay? Truthfully, motherhood is both hard and sweet. When I became a mother, everything changed. It’s an overwhelming yet exciting experience. I needed help, did research, and searched for answers for each moment. Then, I came across the word ‘MATRESCENCE’.
Matrescence
The changes are called MATRESCENCE, which is a period of transition that affects every aspect of your life, including your biology, psychology, social life, finances, personal identity, and spirituality. This is a term coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the mid-70s; it reflects the process of becoming a mother. Just like adolescence is a period of growth and change from a child into an adult, matrescence is a period in which a woman grows and changes as she becomes a mother. The moment your pregnancy test is positive, the matrescence journey begins. With every child, a mother is born, forging a new identity of love and sacrifice.
Matrescence describes an important concept: the process of becoming a mother. It can be a complex and varied experience for different women, which is normal. A woman’s body experiences a remarkable series of changes, all serving as a subtle reminder of the new life growing within her. The act of childbirth itself represents a threshold; a woman taps into reservoirs of strength she never knew existed. Yet, matrescence is far beyond pregnancy and childbirth. In the days that follow, a woman navigates the journey of motherhood, sleepless nights, the unimaginable demands of nurturing the growing little one, and endless diaper changes. Struggles encountered are part of the natural process of becoming a mother, but people don’t talk about them. It’s confused with a more serious disorder called postpartum depression.
To sail through matrescence, it’s important to be courageous, resilient, and self-aware. First and foremost, acknowledge the changes that are taking place. Embrace the shift in your body, relationships, and personal identity, and acknowledge the new roles and responsibilities that come with motherhood. From morning sickness to hormonal changes to sensory alterations, such as sight, taste, and smell, to the stress of caring for a newborn, all of these moments are unique and should be embraced as part of a mother’s life. Providing round-the-clock care for your newborn, including feeding, changing diapers, bathing, and soothing them, are new roles that you need to be aware of and accept.
Matrescence can affect the dynamics of your relationship with your spouse, extended family, and colleagues. Communicate your experience, both the rewarding and challenging moments, and be open-minded. I had to have an honest conversation with my husband about my fears, challenges, and joyful experiences so far. I also informed my friends about my availability and experience. Some of them understood, while others added to the stress. Regardless, it’s vital to be aware of the situation and embrace the process.
It’s important to prioritise self-care and nurture your well-being, especially when you are taking care of a baby. Taking time for relaxation and engaging in activities that you enjoy is crucial for your health and the well-being of your little one. It can be challenging to find time for yourself amidst the chaos of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, but taking intentional breaks throughout the day to rest and recharge can make a significant difference in your overall well-being. Even during your baby’s short naps, make sure to do something that you enjoy, like reading a book or taking a deep breath and relaxing. Gentle exercises that are safe for postpartum recovery, such as walking, dancing, or swimming, can also help you feel better. Dancing is a fun and effective way to alleviate feelings of stress and anxiety while creating unforgettable memories with your baby. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary.
During matrescence, trusting your instincts means listening to your inner voice and intuition as you navigate the challenges and joys of motherhood. Your intuition often guides you in ways you may not expect. Be gentle with yourself; motherhood is a learning process, and mistakes are inevitable. Remember that perfection is not the goal because motherhood is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it’s important to embrace the imperfections and learn from them. Striking for perfection is unrealistic and unnecessary. Instead, focus on being the best parent you can be in each moment.
If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help from therapists, counsellors, or support groups; it’s a proactive step towards prioritising your mental and emotional well-being. Asking for help is a sign of strength because it shows that you are willing to acknowledge your needs and take action to address them. Cultivating a strong support network is essential. Lean on family, friends, and other mothers who understand the journey you’re on. Connecting with other mothers who are going through similar experiences can help you feel less isolated and more empowered, knowing that you are not alone in your journey.
Celebrating milestones and achievements during motherhood is an essential part of cherishing the journey and recognising both your child’s growth and your own. As I reflect on the journey of motherhood, I’m filled with a profound sense of pride and joy, especially when I recall the precious moments of my child’s developmental milestones. One memory that stands out vividly is the day my little one took his first steps. I can still feel the warmth of their tiny hands clasping mine for support, his chubby legs wobbling uncertainly as they bravely ventured forward. At that moment, tears of pride welled up in my eyes, witnessing the sheer determination and courage radiating from my child. Those first steps were not just a physical achievement but a testament to the bond we share and the endless love that envelops us.
Conclusion
The journey of motherhood isn’t just about celebrating our children’s milestones; it’s also about acknowledging our growth and resilience. Through the challenges and triumphs, I’ve discovered newfound strength within myself, learning to navigate the complexities of parenthood with grace and perseverance. Every milestone, whether it’s my child’s first word or a moment of personal triumph, is a reminder of the incredible journey we’re on together. It’s a journey filled with boundless love, unwavering dedication, and countless moments of pure joy. As I continue to watch my child grow and flourish, I’m filled with gratitude for the privilege of being their mother, cherishing every step of this remarkable adventure.
Matrescence is a lifelong process that begins when you become pregnant and continues throughout different stages of parenthood and life. Remember that you are not alone, and every step you take brings you closer to embracing the joy and reward of motherhood. It’s okay and normal to feel overwhelmed and unprepared; just embrace and enjoy each moment with your child. In conclusion, this journey is worthwhile; from the day you discover growth in your womb to the feeling of the warmth of their tiny body against yours to the period of nurturing till they are independent, it is filled with a bundle of joy. Matrescence is the process of creating lasting memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.
